Ok, this is just a random post. But it's about me and this is what this blog is for I suppose so I guess it's fine. I can be such a jerk sometimes. And I don't mean to. It just happens. I say things and they come out way different than I mean them to. And if I'm not careful, I'm going to end up losing all my friends by doing so. I mean, last night, I was talking to a friend, and I was trying to say something but I didn't know how to say it, and it ended up coming out all harsh and, well, for lack of a better word, just plain evil. It was so bad that the friend thought I didn't like them. And wow it was a mess. I mean, the conversation was on chat, so after my friend got offline I realized how terrible I'd been and I went back and read the chat. And wow, I coulda plunged a dagger in their heart and it would have most likely hurt less.
So basically then of course I felt miserable for it. And at church my pastor preached mostly from Nehemiah about how as Christians we need to rebuild the walls around our lives that keep out unmoral things. And I got to thinking, I had let gaps appear in my 'wall'. I had allowed little things that bothered me to add up. And instead of dealing with them while they were small, I let them pile up until they were huge. And then I overreacted about the stupidest thing, taking things way out of proportion.
But all I can say now is, thank God for the power of forgiveness. I mean, my friend didn't have to forgive me. I wouldn't have blamed them if they didn't. I really didn't deserve to be forgiven. I deserved to be yelled at, and hated, and then just ignored. But no! This amazing friend forgave me even after all the rotten things I said to them.
And then I wanted to cry, because of course it reminded me of God. I mean, I totally deserve Hell's fire for all the awful things I do. But God, out of his love and mercy, forgave me. Totally undeserved, totally not mandatory. He just did it. And I find it awesome how He takes the worst of situations, like my jerkiness, and turns them into a spiritual reminder.
God is so good!
2 comments:
Hello Mel!
Awww, I read your post on the forums. I'm really sorry about what happened. :( Although I think you basically did the right thing, although I understand miswording things.
I did something really awful on chat once too. It was horrible, so I know how you feel.
God is really great! He forgives us, and washes us white as snow. :) Don't forget that!
Love you Mel!! <3 *hugs*
~Maddie
Hey, Mel. I read what ya said on the forums too. I'm so sorry; I've done that kinda stuff so many times and--Well I just know how you feel. =/ I'm so glad that everything worked out for ya. That friend is an amazing sort--I def know. Anyways, um, yeah. It really is amazing how God works in our lives to show us stuff like that. =D He's pretty AWESOME. Um, anyways, yeah. I'll shut up now. =P <3 ~Riah
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