"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace"

⁸ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

⁹ "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

¹² You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

Isaiah 55:8-12

This past Thursday, when the doctors said that my little sister had little chance of living, and that if she did live, there was little chance she'd live without brain damage, a lot of emotions raged within me. I was angry: angry at our family doctor who diagnosed an ear infection and sent her home instead of finding the real problem and taking care of it before it got so bad; angry with God for letting this happen; and angry with myself for not being a better big sister while I had the chance. I was scared: scared that I'd lose my little sister; scared that I'd never forgive God; scared that my mom wouldn't be able to cope. I was jealous of my friends who had healthy little sisters. I was thankful: thankful to God for having a purpose even though I couldn't see it; thankful for all the friends that did their best to comfort me through everything.

When I was feeling all that, I was crying my eyes out. When I stopped crying, I felt nothing. It was as if I was floating in an expanse of nothingness without a single thing/person to comfort me. At times I felt almost unsure I was even alive. I felt nothing but emptiness. Then I'd begin to feel again and the tears would come back. Basically, I was a total wreck.

Those verses from Isaiah were perfect for me. A friend gave them to me and said she'd found them and thought they might help. It's amazing how God shows things to others and directs them to show them to you. He truly is an amazing God. He has a purpose in all that he does, though we may not see, it is perfect

Monday my older sister dressed Beka up, did her nails etc, and she looked so pretty! It was hard to believe how bad she'd looked just a few days before. The sparkle was back in her beautiful large brown eyes, her smile was back to it's bright infectious self. She just looked so alive and so gorgeous!

Beka is home now and doing great. Yesterday she was running around with neighbor kids just like before. You'd never know by looking at her that anything had happened to her except a bruise on her right arm.

She's not the normal kids she looks like though. She will be taking insulin shots for the rest of her life. She has to put up with 4+ finger pricks a day to test her blood sugar. She must be very careful about what she eats, knowing exactly how many carbohydrates are in her food so she can counteract it with insulin. She can't snack whenever she wants unless she wants that means more insulin shots. But she is still a beautiful daughter of the God Most High. He sustained her life when the doctors had little hope to offer. And He will continue to sustain her until He is ready to bring her home to Himself. All is in His hands and on that we rest.

So she's not a normal little kids anymore. She is a girl with a story, a testimony of what the Great God we serve is capable of doing. I pray that I will never forget what He did this past week and that it will ever remind me of why I strive to live my life wholly and solely for Him.