Frogs and Princes Part 1: Stop Kissing Frogs

Growing up, we all knew the stories.
- A young orphan dancing in disguise until midnight. Then running into the night afraid of discovery, leaving behind no calling card except a delicate glass slipper.
- A beauty finds herself in a bewitched castle mastered by a hideous beast whom she vows to loath. But the gentle kindness that lurks under his skin shows through and she finds herself loving him despite his grotesque features. And he is transformed to appear outwardly as he is underneath.
- A princess lives a secluded life in the Forrest until her 16th birthday when she goes home to the castle. There she falls into an enchanted sleep at the prick of a poisoned needle.

What do all of these beloved stories have in common? A young girl, apparently of little consequence, strives to light up her world with her inward beauty and is saved from her not-so-great life by a prince.
But have you ever stopped to think about the fact that in our lovely collection of fairy tales there is one that doesn't belong?

A princess stumbles upon a frog; discovers that this frog has the abnormal ability to speak. He is in fact a prince under a spell, waiting for a kiss to break him free.

Wait a second... uhm what happened to the prince saving the damsel in distress? Why have we started kissing frogs? Girls, I suggest you stop kissing frogs. It may be a cute story at first glance. But take a second look. I haven't seen the movie 'The Princess and the Frog' but in an advertisement for it, after the frog asks with puppy dog eyes for a kiss the princess asks nervously, "Just one kiss?" With a not-so-innocent smile he replies, "Unless you beg for more!"

Doesn't this sound just like the 'frogs' you know? They ask for 'innocent' demonstrations of love but each one asks you to compromise a little more than the last. They make it sound so simple but what they ask for today - that small little favor- if you give in, they will tomorrow expect more.

Come on girls! Stop kissing frogs! Think about it... when you kiss them, do they really transform into the handsome prince they claim they are underneath? Or do you, the princess become a frog like them?

"But, I really think I can change him"
"But I really like him"
"But no one else wants me!"

Please, do yourself a favor and DON'T SETTLE FOR A BUT!

The frogs will come and go. They'll use you and leave you. So please, stop kissing frogs!

Benjamin Rush completion essay

First I want to thank everyone that helped me in any way with Benjamin Rush. I couldn't have done it without you and I'm very thankful for all the opportunities the program opened up for me. Thanks for all that you did. A completion essay was on of the requirements for the program so I thought I'd let you read it so you could see what I learned from the program. So here it is. =)

Being involved in GenJ is great because it reminds me that even kids can do great things. 1 Timothy 4:12 says, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.” By being involved in the Benjamin Rush program, I was really able to live out that verse. I am young, but I don’t have to sit by and apathetically watch America fall apart. I can’t vote, but I can encourage others to vote and teach them how to vote responsibly. I am young, but I can make a difference. I learned that simple truth through the Benjamin Rush Awards Program.

Ben Rush has different levels of involvement, but I believe all of them are important. Though the civics courses don’t require any more than a desire to learn, they are crucial. You cannot work to get America back to what it was meant to be until you know and understand what her founders intended for her to be. Studying America’s Founding Fathers showed me just how far America has fallen, but it also gave me hope of what this nation can become. The civics courses taught me that political activism is pointless if you have no goal for what your work will achieve.

If political activism were a ladder, writing letters would be the next rung. I’d never let anyone besides friends and family see anything I had written. So the idea of sending a letter to the editor, where there is a chance it will get published and “everyone” will see it, terrified me. But it was nothing compared to the fear I had of sending my ‘insignificant’ thoughts to someone important like my representatives. I learned that things are generally much worse in your imagination than they are in reality.

One part of being civically involved that I had never thought much about in the past is encouraging others toward similar involvement. As I talked to friends, trying to convince them to join GenJ, I was forced to stop and think about why I was doing what I was doing. This strengthened my success because what I did became motivated by convictions. Luke 16:10 says, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much”. God gave me the courage to speak to my friends about GenJ and the importance of being civically involved. Then He did something big. On tax day, when TEA parties formed all over the country, I got the opportunity to speak at one with about 250 people in attendance. Public speaking was something I’d NEVER done before. But as always, God showed Himself to be faithful and gave me the strength to get through it, and 250 people heard about GenJ.

This 1^st time of public speaking lead to other opportunities to grow and each time God gave me the courage to do what I’d never done before. As is usual with God, it started small and expanded. Being elected the first president of the newest club in Indiana terrified me yet exhilarated me. Being the first time I’ve lead anything, it’s been a huge learning experience. I’ve learned a lot about leadership, diplomacy, and motivating apathetic people. All of this has only prepared me for greater things. It was through my club that I had the privilege of moderating a Health Care Forum and working toward community education. Each of these experiences laid the groundwork for my decision to run for office at GenJ’s summer camp where I learned more than I thought possible in one week about the workings of our government.

Those I meet in my everyday life are not the only ones who don’t know about GenJ. In meeting with representatives, I had the opportunity to represent GenJ as I shared my views on current political issues. If there is one thing that makes more impact than others, this would be it. Politicians don’t expect kids to pay attention to or care about politics. Those that do care aren’t expected to do anything about it. Those that do get involved aren’t expected to be able to express themselves coherently. I discovered that when a teenager takes the time to talk to their representatives, and does so in an educated manner, those representatives really listen.

I can’t vote, but I can make a difference! That’s something I’ve told myself over and over as I’ve tried to assess the value of my actions. I feel like I’ve had the biggest impact while volunteering through the Student Actions Teams. By the time election week comes, campaign staff are exhausted. When a group of energetic kids comes in and makes phone calls and does literature drops, it takes a lot of pressure off them. The work we do on the SAT is easy and therefore seems like it’s not a big deal, but it is a big deal to those we are helping. When you see a campaign manager filled with energizing gratitude for the work you’ve done, you know you’ve made a difference and you are greeted with the satisfaction that only comes from a job well done. Being involved in the SATs is one of the best things I’ve ever done.

From civics courses to volunteer work, Ben Rush has been a great experience. I’ve learned so much about what God can do through me when I allow myself to come out of my comfort zone. Being civically involved is so important, but it’s useless if you are simply going through the motions. You must have convictions driving you; you must know why you do what you do; and if it’s not ALL for the Glory of God, you are better off sitting at home apathetically.

My life might be too busy. =P

It's been ages since I've posted due to business. I feel like I've been going none-stop from one activity to another. I'm going to do my best to recap the last few months so this post may get long.

The summer was essentially uneventful until July 26th. For those who don't know, that was the day GenJ camp started. <3 So as to not fill this entire post with camp details (for it would take an entire post) I will make a separate post about my week at camp later. I'll just say here that if you're a GenJer and you've never been to camp, you should go next year. It was honestly the best week of my entire life.

The week following camp, soccer started. Now, as many of you know, I'm some-what of a klutz. Especially when it comes to sports so this being my first year of ever playing soccer, it's been VERY humbling/humiliating. Learn from my mistakes and don't try to start sports at 16. Start younger and save yourself a lot of humiliation. Aside from feeling like an idiot it's been a lot of fun. And a lot of work. Sometimes I feel like all I hear is "Melody, be more agressive!" See, when someone (esspeciall someone larger than myself) comes my way with the ball, rather than try to take the ball, I have a horrid tendencey to back away. Agression is something I really need to work on.

Shortly aftet soccer started, school followed suit. I was under the impression that during the first few weeks of this year, I'd get to study Machiavelli's, The Prince, and Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes. But it turned out I was sadly wrong. Instead I'm lerning about Machiavelli and Hobbes and the History surrounding their lives and leading them to write these works. So it's kind of disapointing. If I weren't so busy I'd do it on my own time. I'm excited about the next couple weeks of school though. I'll be studying the Magna Carta, Excerpts from the Petition of Rights (Addressed to King Charles), and the English Bill of Rights. It'll be awesome!!! I've always wanted to study the Magna Cara and the others are just bonuses. Don't worry, I'll most likely post my thoughts on all of them once I'm done. (I know, I know, I'm not supposed to get this excited about school. Shoot me! =P )

A little while after school started, Sign Language started. I'm taking the beginning sign language class at a local college. The prophesser is the daughter of deaf parents so since she grew up signing, she is definitely qualified to teach. But she has a tendencey to ramble on about past experiences and then we don't have time to get to things... like... homework(consisting of signing in front of the class) xD I've really liked sign language for about seven years(since John was born) so it's really exciting getting to learn from a real person(signs depected in books are often hard to decifer).

Teens for Liberty, the local GenJ club is really doing well. We just started in April and already we've gotten chances to be involved Last month we held a health care forum, inviting local doctors to come and speak about the effects the Health Care Bill will have on them and their patients. It was a great way to educate ourselves as a club, as well as educate the community.
This month we are going to speak with Nancy Michael, a state representative and hopefully give her a good inpression of homeschooling since we're pretty sure this could be her first time really encountering homeschoolers.
The club has a website now! It's brandnew so it pretty much doesn't have anything on it yet, but I'm excited about it anyway. I've been working on getting things together for it and hopefully it will soon have more on it.
I'm also working on getting more of the club interested in going on the VA Student Action Team.
If you've never been the president of a club, I encourage you to try it sometime. It's a huge growing experience. I never knew there could be so much behind the scenes stuff that must be done right in order for the stuff that shows to fall into place. It can be sressful at times, but it's stretching me and I love it, even if sometimes I do want to just pull my hair out. =P

On top of all this, I've started my first job. I'm working at Noble Romans and it's a lot of fun. Sometimes very stressful, like last night when the drain in the kitchen wouldn't drain and it smelled like a sewer and we couldn't wash any of the dishes. =P But I also just got trained on cash register yesterday so that was cool. I'm really excited about having a job because basically, this is a chance at possibly making college a reality. =)

So that's been my life... it actually sounds a lot less busy just writing it out than it feels doing all of that. Oh well, it's nice to FINALLY have a day when I'm not going anywhere so I can give my neglected blog some attention.

My birthday.....

Okay, for starters, I just want to thank all of you for all the prayer. Still feeling very inadequate and got all my insecurities, but overall, I'm doing a lot better. So thanks much!! =)

And, because I'm just weird like that, I'm posting a poem for by birthday (shall talk about my birthday afters) This is just something I wrote that is.... well, I guess about being a women of noble character. I have to admit I kinda think about the idea of marriage a lot so this just came from me wondering if I'll ever be ready to meet a man's needs. It's based on Proverbs 31



Lemuel spoke of the wife that's a jewel
In his words in that proverb filled book.
His mother taught him to not be a fool
When for a wife he did look.

A wife of noble character is hard to find
Her husband trusts her with everything
In her all kinds of value, God did bind
Like merchant ships, food from afar she will bring

She does not sleep as long as the sun
She cares for those in need
she never stops work when what's required is done
The snow of winter she doesn't heed.

Her reward come later in her life
When her children bless her name.
Because she's such a mother and wife
Her husband will do the same.

Her beauty might turn to wrinkles and gray,
But she's praised for the Lord has her fear
Her heart's grown more lovely, since her wedding day.
So her husband treasures her dear.

This is the woman Lemuel spoke of.
To become like her is my prayer
That I'd be so worthy of a husbands love
And have a heart so fair.



Okay, so it's pretty corny, but I actually wrote that back in either December or January and decided to post it for my birthday just because that's what I do. =P

But now that you've suffered through my cheesy poetry you can suffer through my birthday rant. =P

Today started out good. I woke up and was greeted with lots of smiles and hugs. I did some girly primping which I don't always do but felt like doing today..... so my hair actually looks okay today. =P Then I got the cutest pair of shoes from Esther and Abby and a very cute pair of earrings from Beky. Then today became sorta not-so-good. I had to start volleyball today and I've never played before and since I am so bad with sports I was totally dreading it. But I went because I didn't have a choice and made a total fool of myself. Basically, the only thought that went through my head the whole time was, "I'm the only tall person here that doesn't know what she's doing!" And now my arms and hands are totally bruised up. My mom said it looks like I'm a druggie because of the way I bruised. It doesn't look pretty.
I came home and went running with Esther (Yes, me! I went running. Stop staring at me in shock like that. You'd think the idea was preposterous. Okay fine, it kinda is.) But yeah, I've got this new plan to actually get skinny so I've started running. After running I ate a little breakfast(hardly counts as breakfast since it was like 12:30 by that point) Then not too long after that I went to lunch with my mom. (yes I know, that wont help me get skinny eating two meals within and hour and a half of each other.) Then I came home and Joel was home so he gave me his gift. It was Skillet's CD, Comatose! =D=D
Then Esther and I went to the mall because I decided since it's my "sweet 16" and on top of that, my golden birthday, I should go spend some of my birthday money at the Mall. I am in desperate need of some new jeans right now so that's what I went for. BUT, the Mall doesn't believe in girls who are 5' 10.5" with all their height in their legs. And on top of that, even if I decided to just wear my jeans WAY too short, unless I go to a granny store, I'm FAR too fat. I feel like I'm the only girl on the planet that doesn't wear size 5 or smaller.
Needless to say, I'm too fat and too tall. So my trip to the mall ended in me wanting to just die. On the way home I blared my new Skillet CD hoping that it would help. It didn't!
Right now I'm sitting here fighting back tears wishing for all the world I could STOP BEING A FREAK!!!!!! Why is it I have to be the person who gets stuck with freakish height? Why can't I be 5' 2" like every other girl on the planet? I know God had some reason for making me a freak, but why couldn't he include a store that sold long jeans in that plan? I've been laughed at for wearing "high waters" before.... little to people know that I buy pants that on most people would need at least six inches cut off to make them fit. I just want to be normal. The one stinking store in the mall that sells jeans at least close to long enough for me, I can't even afford to look into. I know it's wrong to ask God why, but I've been doing that for the past two hours now.

"my joy has been on holiday and my peace has almost passed away"

Satan is very intelligent. He has many ways of attacking us, but once he finds the most effective one, he uses it almost solely. After all, why bother with less effective tools right? He and I both know that my greatest weakness is my view of myself.

I've always been very much a klutz. This hinders me majorly is sports. Having always been tall, it only made sense that I would try basketball. I played in 4th and 5th grade. My 6+ inch height advantage meant nothing to the coaches. My position on the team was bench warmer, because, well, there's no way around it. I stunk! But I was young enough that it didn't bother me much.

Not too long after this we started getting together with some friends weekly to play soccer. I can't tell you how many hours one of them spent attempting to teach me how to control the ball. Did I ever get better? No way! It got to the point where I simply stood next to the goal so that 1) I'd be out of the way, and 2) whoever was on my team could bounce the ball off my feet into the goal so I could at least be dong something. At least in this instance it was just a few friends getting together and not an official team I was letting down with my clumsiness.

When I got to Junior high, youth group was... well, it was torture. Though I pretended not to, I grew to dread Wednesday night. Being homeschooled, I already fa ed an extra challenge in trying to fit in. Added to that was my lack of any fashion sense what-so-ever (sure I don't dress "fashionably" even now, but I do tend to dress acceptably) The most popular person in youth group was... I guess a two-way tie between my brother Will and Cheryl a *cough* friend of his. =P Do you know what it's like to be 11 years old trying desperately to belong and you are known simply as "Will's sister"? To be expected to uphold his reputation of intelligence and bible knowledge while knowing you will never succeed in doing so? I think junior high is where you begin to truly find yourself, and what I found was an unlikable, unintelligent, untalented nobody.

From that point on Satan has had a hay-day with me. Doing everything possible to build on my insecurities, he whispers lies to me, "Nobody likes you! You have no friends! You're so ugly! You're clothes make you so dorky! Then again, it doesn't matter what you wear, you'll always look terrible! You're a failure! You never succeed! You're a mistake! You're so dumb not even God loves you! You ruin everyone's lives! People would be so much better off if you had never been born!" and on and on.....

I've heard those things for so long, most the time I believe them with all my heart. I created for myself a mask back in junior high. I wore it faithfully, lest anyone see the real me. Covering my insecurities with a fake hyperness that many people believe to be me. But recently, I've begun to fall apart. I used to have depression come and go in phases. Now, I'm pretty much always depressed. I feel like such a failure that I never feel like doing anything since I know I wont succeed in anything I do. I find myself allowing my mind to just empty/blank out and I just stare at something not realizing what I'm doing. Usually only being brought back to reality when someone asks me what's wrong. I then snap out of it and do my best to smile and say, "nothing." I feel as though I'm in the way of everyone. I contemplate suicide a lot, feeling that it will put everyone else out of the misery of knowing me. But I am still here because somewhere in the back of my mind there remains the belief that somehow, some day, I'll come out of this.

I truly believe there is some kind of spiritual battle going on and I fear that Satan is winning. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I know that all of you have far better things to do with your time than reading the mostly incoherent thoughts of a dumb teenage girl. In fact, I highly doubt any of you would even waste time reading this far so it's pointless to continue, but if by chance you are still reading, I need a lot of prayer. One time a friend asked me why I have joy in my name and not in my spirit. Well, I haven't any answer. All I know is that I want it in my spirit. So if you are still reading, would you please please pray that God would remove my hatred for myself and replace it with His joy.

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace"

⁸ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

⁹ "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

¹² You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

Isaiah 55:8-12

This past Thursday, when the doctors said that my little sister had little chance of living, and that if she did live, there was little chance she'd live without brain damage, a lot of emotions raged within me. I was angry: angry at our family doctor who diagnosed an ear infection and sent her home instead of finding the real problem and taking care of it before it got so bad; angry with God for letting this happen; and angry with myself for not being a better big sister while I had the chance. I was scared: scared that I'd lose my little sister; scared that I'd never forgive God; scared that my mom wouldn't be able to cope. I was jealous of my friends who had healthy little sisters. I was thankful: thankful to God for having a purpose even though I couldn't see it; thankful for all the friends that did their best to comfort me through everything.

When I was feeling all that, I was crying my eyes out. When I stopped crying, I felt nothing. It was as if I was floating in an expanse of nothingness without a single thing/person to comfort me. At times I felt almost unsure I was even alive. I felt nothing but emptiness. Then I'd begin to feel again and the tears would come back. Basically, I was a total wreck.

Those verses from Isaiah were perfect for me. A friend gave them to me and said she'd found them and thought they might help. It's amazing how God shows things to others and directs them to show them to you. He truly is an amazing God. He has a purpose in all that he does, though we may not see, it is perfect

Monday my older sister dressed Beka up, did her nails etc, and she looked so pretty! It was hard to believe how bad she'd looked just a few days before. The sparkle was back in her beautiful large brown eyes, her smile was back to it's bright infectious self. She just looked so alive and so gorgeous!

Beka is home now and doing great. Yesterday she was running around with neighbor kids just like before. You'd never know by looking at her that anything had happened to her except a bruise on her right arm.

She's not the normal kids she looks like though. She will be taking insulin shots for the rest of her life. She has to put up with 4+ finger pricks a day to test her blood sugar. She must be very careful about what she eats, knowing exactly how many carbohydrates are in her food so she can counteract it with insulin. She can't snack whenever she wants unless she wants that means more insulin shots. But she is still a beautiful daughter of the God Most High. He sustained her life when the doctors had little hope to offer. And He will continue to sustain her until He is ready to bring her home to Himself. All is in His hands and on that we rest.

So she's not a normal little kids anymore. She is a girl with a story, a testimony of what the Great God we serve is capable of doing. I pray that I will never forget what He did this past week and that it will ever remind me of why I strive to live my life wholly and solely for Him.

Just an update on my life

It's been ages since I posted and for that I apologize. I've been extremely busy this week and just haven't had time for blogging. But now I'm grabbing a few minutes to attend to my blog because I longer I wait, the more likely it is to just die on me. =P

Most of you who read this know already about my sister Beka, but for those who don't, I'll fill you in. Last week my whole family got sick with really bad colds. Most of us got over them in just a couple days but Beky didn't. She got sick on Friday and when Tuesday she was still really sick, my mom took her to the doctor. He diagnosed an ear infection and sent my mom home with a prescription saying that he can't do anything else until she's been on the prescription for over 24 hours. Wednesday Beky was doing WAY worse but we did as the doctor said and waited. One thing you should know is that Beka had been losing a LOT of weight so along with the prescription the doctor said we really needed to fatten her up(which we were already doing anyway technically). He said to give her lots of shakes, and fast food hamburgers/fries, things that people watching their wait tend to stay away from.

So, we were getting really worried about her because she was getting really weak but she didn't want to eat. She just wasn't in the mood for food I guess. So we made her lots of fruit shakes and put protein powder in them. And we gave her a lot of ice cream. We tried to get her to eat a hamburger Wednesday for lunch but she took two mouse-size bites and then said she was done. Meanwhile, we getting more and more worried about her because she is looking worse and worse with every passing minute.

Thursday morning she was so weak she couldn't even sit up on her own. My mom got the earliest appointment she could with our doctor and took her in. At this point I was in tears I was so worried. And the tears didn't stop. When the call came from my mom saying that Beka had diabetes and her blood sugar was 450(should be between 80 and 100) and they were taking her to the emergency room, I totally freaked out. Then another call: they were life-lining her to Riley hospital in Indianapolis because they were unable to stabilize her here in town. Panic began welling up in me. I honestly didn't know if I'd ever see my 9 year old sister again. And the doctors here at Riley didn't help with those feelings either. They pretty much made it sound like she was dying. And I think she was. I believe it's only through all the prayers lifted up for her that she is still alive right now. But because of all those prayers, she was moved out of the ICU late yesterday morning and is now doing wonderfully.

This weekend already had a busy schedule though. I was in a piano competition last month and won for my division so I went on to state. This Saturday was the state competition. Fortunately, it was here in Indy so I was able to go see Beka right afterward, but I still didn't focus as well as maybe I could have. I hadn't seen her since Thursday morning so I was rather anxious about getting to the hospital. On top of that, Joel and I had an orchestra concert last night. The conductor was none too pleased when he found out we'd be unable to make it to the concert. He yelled at me, then he yelled at my mom, then he yelled at my dad. I understand his frustration. It is very difficult to replace people at the last minute, especially principle flute with several solos. But I wish he could be more understanding of the fact that family comes first. So I'm still sorta stressing out about that whole thing.

But I'm very happy that Beka is doing so well. She is so ready to go home. She keeps asking when we get to go home. (I think she is really bored here =P) But she is being very brave about everything. Right now we are all going through diabetic training so we can take care of her when we bring her home so the doctors/nurses are having us do everything we can. Yesterday I gave my first shot. =P I was totally nervous about it, way more nervous than Beky who was taking the shot. I looked at that needle, then I looked at her arm, and I wasn't sure if I could make myself push the needle through her skin. But, I did. And it actually wasn't that bad. Poor Beka though, she has to have a minimum of four insulin shots a day. I also checked her blood sugar before dinner yesterday. That was a lot easier. All I did was prick her finger and then test the blood with a tester thingie.(yes, I'm terribly technical)

To sum all this up, I've been extremely busy this past week... well, less than a week I guess, but if feels like all this has taken a lot longer than it has. Long days + tons of worry + hospitals + crowded rooms = lots of stress and some irritablness for my whole family. Please continue to pray for us that God's peace will surround us during these last couple days here in Indy. We're all very tired and we've been snapping at each other a lot about the silliest little things. So we just need an extra measure of stength right now. Thanks to all of you that have been praying and will continue to pray.